This is an introduction for those new to my work, a confirmation to those already familiar, and guiding principles for myself. A manifesto of sorts.

I am all about using simplification to build a calm, confident, dream life, both internally and externally. In this first part —of two— I want to share the term I have come to use to describe my methods and vision for the external: Luxury Minimalism.

Let me walk you through how I came to using Luxury Minimalism to describe the more tangible aspects of my lifestyle. 

What is minimalism?

The minimalist lifestyle, as Joshua Becker puts it: “means living with things you really need. It means removing anything that distracts us from living with intentionality and freedom.” 

That’s it. 

Minimalists get rid of excess, stop buying so much stuff, so they can spend their time and money on the things that matter to them.

It’s simple, but it leaves a lot of room for interpretation. And interpret it, people do: some people equate minimalism to the minimalist art movement, with its extreme abstract art, empty spaces, limited color choices, geometric shapes, and hard edges. Others to more of a spartan monk-like existence, where people own nothing but the clothes on their backs and maybe a toothbrush, and a bowl. Even others make it a space to practice their activism, to create a world they want to see, to reject the status quo of consumption, capitalism, and greed, and hopefully help the planet and everyone on it in the meantime.

No matter your interpretation, the term minimalism kindles a lot of emotions. 

For the uninitiated, it feels restrictive and judgmental. Another set of rules. Another group of people telling me how bad they are for just trying to be happy. A movement that is trying to take those final shreds of joy from this complex and potentially difficult existence. 

For those who first discover the magic of living with less, it’s a relief. Released from the grasp of our clutter, from keeping up with the Joneses, they feel like we can finally breathe again. They are excused from managing their stuff, and encouraged to explore a world beyond material culture, where time and connection are ample.

For those who call themselves “minimalists,” myself amongst them, our relationship with “stuff” feels an ongoing study. We live in a world in which, with increasing intensity and sophistication, we are being sold stuff all. the. time. Stuff to solve problems (probably caused by other stuff). Stuff that promises us a dream. Stuff that’s just so cute/pretty/cool. To not fall into this trap, you need to be aware of these tactics and use your critical thinking at all times, which is exhausting. 

I started "doing minimalism wrong"

To make it less exhausting, going “extreme” ends up feeling like the answer. Maybe it’s just me, but there was a time that saying no to all new material stuff felt like the easiest thing to do. It made it so easy to save money, to move to new places, to reduce any type of overwhelm, all the while, saving the world from mindless overconsumption.

But while saying no to basically all material things reduced the overwhelm in my life, it also took away some opportunities for enjoyment and experimentation. It’s not a regret. It’s a realization that helped inform my actions moving forward. 

In my opinion, there is no "wrong" way to be a minimalist, except when it starts to hurt your quality of life somehow. I had shifted too much to one and I was not having a good time.

So, I thought about what my perfectly balanced life would look like. One where I embraced what minimalism truly stands for: the space (physical and in my mind), the freedom, the focus on quality over quantity, and stopped before the “restriction” happened.  

To not venture too far onto the restrictive side of the minimalism spectrum (or what felt restrictive to me), I needed something that could describe the kind of minimalism I was going for. I needed a term that could both embody the best of minimalism and the comfort and joy I crave.

Enter Luxury Minimalism

Embracing luxury

It took me a while to accept and voice the fact that I want more luxury in my life. As I wrote in one of my monthly newsletters:

Luxury can be such a contentious topic in a world so filled with inequality and oppression. It’s been one of the primary drivers in my quest for simplicity though. 

Merriam-Webster defines luxury as: “a condition of abundance or great ease and comfort.” And Google: “a state of great comfort or elegance, especially when involving great expense.” I could do without the “great expense” part, but to be honest, these two definitions are pretty aligned with what I want out of life.

Minimalism, in my life, started in pursuit of great ease and comfort and that feeling of abundance.

When my home isn’t cluttered, it feels at its most comfortable. When my wardrobe is filled with fewer but better items it’s abundant. When my calendar is clear and I can call up a friend for a coffee, once again: abundance.

I’m not going to pretend I only care for "little luxuries" though. My quest for great ease and comfort has been at “great expense.” And this has been money I have been very happy to pay. The key to simplification is knowing where to invest your money so you get the most out of it (and never in a way that gets you in trouble).

Hiring someone to clean my home for me has added great ease to my life. Getting lounge access at the airport has been a way to add comfort in a situation that wrecks my nerves. Going in for monthly laser treatments for my rosacea has boosted my confidence and simplified my morning routine. And yes, it also includes material things like my cashmere sweaters, designer handbags, and one of a kind art pieces for my home.

Accepting the term luxury has been a way to give myself grace for being human. I have a hard time believing that, away from the stories we have told ourselves about what we do and don’t deserve, away from what we have been taught we should and shouldn’t desire, anyone would choose the less comfortable/easy/abundant option. 

Luxury is personal, it’s up to the individual to define what brings them a sense of great ease, comfort, or abundance. Luxury can be material or not. It can be expensive, but also free. And it can be a little bit of all of the above.

So, if you’ve also struggled with the term luxury, if you feel like you somehow have to reject it because of your quest for simplification, or because of what society has convinced you to think about it. I hope this post helps you accept the comfort, ease, and abundance I truly believe you deserve.

Putting the terms together

Putting luxury and minimalism together is funny because some people see them as contradictions and others as the same thing. I guess it has to do with how you interpret the terms individually. I’m putting them together in an attempt to make clear what I am, and what I am not, talking about. 

I am talking about: quality over quantity, less is more, abundance, the importance of both form and function, comfort, freedom, and ease. 

I am not talking about: Frugality, anti-consumerism, counting items, other forms of scarcity often associated with minimalism, luxury to impress others, designer items just because they are designer, disposability, or excess.

Here’s my attempt at a definition:  

Luxury Minimalism - Removing anything that distracts us from living with intentionality and freedom, and bringing in only what brings ease, great comfort, and a feeling of abundance. 

Luxury Minimalism in the context of Refine

Now we’ve got the definition and how I got there. But what does that mean in practical terms? What kind of topics can you expect from me when I talk about Luxury Minimalism?

• Decluttering and organization (digital and physical).
• Interior design.
• Buying less, but better.
• Capsule wardrobes.
• Other ways to elevate your presentation game, simply.
• Travel and packing.

This is the “visible” side of life, what’s going on, on the outside. I believe the external and internal are inextricably linked. Take care of your surroundings and you take care of your mind, take care of your mind and your surroundings will flourish. 

In part two of this post I talk about the internal side of what I do, which I am calling “Slow Success.” 

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